I’m not who you think I am
Life is a continuous quest to find ourselves through experiences and people. Check also sub-pages “E-motions”.
This is me. Ino Cohen. Welcome to my world.
A room of one’s own
‘But, you may say, we asked you to speak about women and fiction – what has that got to do with a room of one’s own?’ Virginia Wolf
When I was studying French literature –interesting and at the same time so boring- the professor quoted Virginia Wolf, saying how important is for a woman to have her own ‘space’ and be financially independent to be able to express her voice.
I immediately associated with that. As a child and teenager, I had to share a room with my little sister. And that was hell for both of us, having a difference of five and a half years. I desperately needed privacy and felt like a cat stuck in a cage with a naughty kitten who was snooping around my diary and private staff.
That was back then, in 1929.
In 2014, thanks to the Internet, every woman, everyone, can have a space of her/his own.
Blogs are our virtual rooms. We set and ‘decorate’ as we want. Money is no object. The Internet gives us…
Freedom to express our voice. To pour our heart out. To express our thoughts and ideas, no mater how silly or deep.
But the difference between blogs and rooms is that blogs have no privacy. Everything is out there, in the open. It’s like going out to an Ancient Greek agora, or a Roman Forum and shout your opinion out loud to the public.
So how true are our thoughts when we express them knowing that they will be read?
Do we self-censor our own writings? Or dare to say what we want, having the illusion of being alone since we don’t physically see anyone listening?
Does freedom allow room for truth?
I don’t know. I’ll think about it. It takes a lot of guts and dare.
Entering the Arena
Don’t avoid what scares you. It is a power that attracts you like a magnet. And the more you resist it, the stronger it becomes.
Step into what frightens you with full consciousness. As you believe in yourself, you start building an invisible armor. Stay focused in your powers. I have a strong Albanian head, the DNA of the witches of Smyrna and the Jewish tradition to survive Do only what you know you do best. And the more you do it, the stronger your invisible armor becomes.
- My soul is among lions. Howled at, hunted, wounded, but not slain.
- I walked into the darkness, I fell and hurt but darkness did not make me blind.
- I stepped into the fire and the fire did not burn me.
Blood of my Blood
I created this blog in dark times. It shows on my first writings. I didn’t want to erase my pain and my memories. They make me who I am. Today, after 7 months, my writing mood has totally changed. Maybe this is due to a strong survival instinct. Or just to the circles of life. I like both styles of expressing my self, fun and serious, sunny and dark, week and strong. That’s who I am. Can’t change it.
There’s tremendous progress in my creativity. I get ideas from anything, thoughts, posts, images bang my head to burst out and scratch my hands to type them. (I used the verb ‘type‘ not ‘write’). I’m more innovative to the point that I don’t believe it’s me. I thought creativity was my weakest point. Well, it just ain’t so. My dressing style has much improved. My technology skills have also improved. Even my cooking is getting better.
I like this new me. I am a “typer” nor a “writer”. Words sleep through my fingers, faster than songs. Creativity makes me feel light, free. New ideas spring from everywhere, any time in life.
And making ideas happen, oh yes, that is Happiness.
Talent can take you to both bright and dark places. Both are interesting. And, unlike Hercules, it’s necessary to take both roads – the one of Virtue and the one of Vice. That completes you. Then you make your choice.
I go with the bright light.
What I am, a Question Mark
Every cell of my body changes. I’m not the same person physically that I used to be a couple of years ago. I’m the same soul (or am I not?) inhabiting different bodies.
And as I change through time, I wonder if the people who once knew me, got away for some years and then came back into my life, feel the same. Do they think that I’m not the same body? How did we reconnect? Does my soul develop and change as my body? Does it age through time? Or is it a different soul inhabiting a different body every time?
These questions went through my mind as I was reading my teenage hood diaries. It was like seen a movie that I knew but the heroine was someone else. She’s not me.
Light or Deep?
Lately I’ve had success with the ‘fun’ posts. In fact, their number of viewers is much much higher than those of the ‘serious’ ones. Well, what can I say, that’s what it attracts more attention. Or, that’s what people really need those days, more fun and self-sarcasm rather than sad stories like the Wolf eating Red Ridding Hood for dinner.
I like this part of myself. Lightness and laughter has saved me in many difficult times of my life. It’s a good reserve to have when in need of an emotional rescue.
So I hope you enjoy all sides of me, what you like most is your taste.
About the language (again): Sorry international readers but humor is a matter of mother tongue. But I promise I’ll translate the best part, some time soon. And it’s weird that it’s natural to me to write the deeper and emotional posts in English.
The sound of silence
You can never hide. No matter how well you play the role you have to play, the others know you are acting. Even if you think that your behavior is ‘normal’ according to their rules. They will pick you up, know you are a stranger in their world.
Once in high school, I remained silent, not expressing my opinion, my total disagreement. But the teachers knew. They could see the disapproval in my eyes, in the air around me. And made me pay for it.
Can’t help it. But love it.
There are times when I feel like a visitor in my own life. Seeing the world through a looking glass. What’s real? What’s reality? Who’s in my world?
I felt like that when I was reading my teenage diaries. Like watching a movie about a story I know, a book I’ve read in the past. Still, the narrator was somebody else. Another girl. It’s like I live my life in different stages, different worlds, planets. It was me but at the same time not me. So what’s the truth? Was she me? Or someone else living in my body, sharing my attitude towards life, my feelings, my family and friends?
A heart is like a rock, cast in the deep blue sea
Our life story is a series of events happening because of our choices, most of the times. Tonight I’ve decided that there are no right or wrong choices. Just actions. I’ll never know how my life would be, if I had taken a different decision at a specific moment. I’ll never know if I would be happy or not. Which job would be best for me, historian or communication executive? Recently, I’ve discovered how much I love math, a love that I had been hiding from myself for a very long time.
Even when it seams that I’m at the edge, I have a strong survival instinct. I realized it back in elementary school. Is it because of my DNA? Or because of my sign (Capricorn)?
It’s because of just me.
Another feature of myself: I have a strong intuition. But that’s not necessarily a ‘plus’. Usually, I ‘see’ the negatives events and the tragic is that no matter what I do, I cannot prevent them. The Ancients knew it. Cassandra’s predictions where gloomy. And the tragedy is that no one believed her.
I am a Drama Queen
Magnet of difficult personalities. Interesting situations but tough luck.
I sleep and wake up early. I love staying home. Not much of a TV fun, used to love books, now I am an IT lover. From MacBook to iPad to Blackberry, my thought in a screen.
- Diet (I know…)
- Gym, weight training. Used to take ballet classes ever since I was 7 years old. Then I went to the opposite direction. Typical me.
- Technology. Especially Apple. I used to be a Microsoft fan, recently I’ve fell in love with Apple.
- Numbers. Probability theories. Statistics. Card games, solitaire (trying to detox and it’s very hard, believe me).
- Blog writing
- Clean, organized space around me makes me calm and secure.
Useless information: Capricorn. Cancer ascendent. Two opposites that attract each other. Fine but it takes place in my personality!
Calm and cool during daytime. Restless and unpredictable in the night.
A personality with contradictions. That’s what I enjoy. The choice between extremely different ideas. The existence of totally different beliefs. And to include all of them in my world. That’s what makes life interesting.
About the language of this blog. I’m Greek. Born and raised in Athens. The US has influenced my way of thinking, my work style, my writing and even my hand writing. Working mostly for multinationals all my life, I’ve become equally comfortable with both languages. Plus we’re all influence by books, TV and movies. I’ll use both languages as much as I can. When this blog ‘grows up’ and becomes a proper website there will be 2 versions for all sections.
I love to write. I’ve got 9 lives. One of them is in the cyberspace. Which one is the most interesting, I can’t tell. Still a lot to find out.
I was born in Athens (the city of light). Lived in books during my childhood. Grew up in the rock world. Traveled and lived abroad for a decade.
Now, this is me. Welcome to my world.